Sometimes, I want to "Hulk" out.
I don't want to hurt anyone, but sometimes, the anger, frustration and sadness I feel over the passing of my dad, Tyrone Reed Sr., seems so overwhelming that I need to scream. But, my mere mortal screams aren't strong enough to release everything that's inside.
It's hard to believe it's been 48 days since my dad shed his mortal coil for a perfect, healthy, peak-conditioned, everlasting, heavenly body.
Some days, it feels like he passed long ago. Other days, it feels like I'm just learning he has passed.
Memories I thought that were long forgotten have recently surfaced and makes the longing for my father even stronger.
One of my fondest memories is the memory of watching reruns of "The Incredible Hulk", starring Lou Ferrigno as "The Hulk" , Bill Bixby as "Dr. David Bruce Banner" and Jack Colvin as reporter "Jack McGee".
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Out of all the Hulks there have been, Lou was my dad's favorite and he loved seeing Bixby portray David.
Whenever someone would hurt David, I can recall my dad saying, "Uh-oh! They done messed up now!". Seconds later, the Hulk would emerge and beat up the bad guys.
A few weeks ago, while at my parents' house in Memphis, Esquire Channel had a marathon of "The Incredible Hulk." It was hard to watch episodes I had watched with dad and at the same time, it warmed my heart that I had memories of watching that show with him.
The hardest part of watching the episodes was seeing David wave goodbye to the people he had saved and whose lives he had changed and begin walking down the road to his next journey.
When "The Lonely Man" began playing (you can hear it by clicking the clip below), I nearly broke down into tears.
The photo below of my father, taken while he was eating at Lambert's Cafe ("Home of the Throwed Rolls") in Sikeston, Missouri, with my mom and two of my sisters, following the funeral of his adoptive mother:
...it reminds me of David leaving and that haunting theme playing in the background. It feels like my dad is saying goodbye and that he will see me later. He's reminding me to be good, do what's right and keep moving forward as the theme plays in my mind.
See, I know my life has changed. It will never be the same because my father is no longer physically present on this earth. But, he is always in my heart.
I miss my dad more than words can express and even now I'm on the verge of breaking down into tears.
But, I know my dad is safe in God's arms and when the day comes for me to begin my next "journey", as I make my way to my heavenly home, I'll be running, joyously to see both my heavenly father and my earthly father.
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